Looking Ahead

When I think back to last New Year's Eve, I feel like so much more than a year has passed; I had no idea last December what 2012 had in store for me.

Amidst long stretches of everyday life, I experienced both mind-numbing heartbreak and absolute joy.

Two dates from the last twelve months define 2012 for me:

• June 1st: The day I unexpectedly lost my mom. It took me two days before I could write about it. I still haven't fully processed the loss, and I'm pretty sure I never will. Tomorrow marks seven months without her.

• December 6th: The day of Justin's birth. A third child was always a possibility, but in December it became a reality. We couldn't be happier with this new addition; our family is now to truly complete with him here.

When 2012 started, I had no earthly clue that I would both say goodbye to my beloved mom as well as welcome a new (and final) son to our family.

So I'm kind of struggling with a weird dynamic today; I'm more than ready to put the pain and suffering of the last twelve months behind me, but at the same time, I don't want to forget the good that came from the year.

So I'm looking ahead. Sure, I've got the typical new year's resolutions, like losing the baby weight (from all three boys!) and getting on track financially. But I resolve to do so much more than that.

Tonight, I'll flip the calendar to 2013, and resolve to love my new family more and live a better life to honor my mom's memory.

Let's roll. :)