Monthly Mumbles, June Edition

10. My apologies for the hiatus. I just haven’t had a whole lot of good stuff to talk about, and I really don’t want this blog to turn into a woe-is-me outlet. That being said, while I like to think I’m a relatively positive person, the loss of my mom has really thrown me for a loop. So if you don’t want to listen to read my griping, feel free to click off now. I’m not offended.

9. The changes in my insurance this year have hit me hard in the wallet, particularly in the last month (go friggin’ figure). Gonna have to get a bit more frugal in the Cotter household.

8. Regular checkup yesterday showed Baby Justin is doing just fine—his heart is bopping away at a perfect 153 bpm, and I’ve been feeling his fluttering movement a bit more regularly since I recognized that first kick a few weeks ago.

7. After getting blood drawn at my appointment yesterday, I’m looking a bit like a drug addict. The bruising is no joke, dude. Maybe my platelets are REALLY bad this time. And I haven’t gained a single pound yet this pregnancy. No more first-trimester nausea, but with reality being what it is, I just can’t get food to taste good. *Before anyone jumps on me for not taking care of the baby, no worries—I still eat, but I don’t enjoy it.

6. Aiden started preschool two weeks ago, and it’s been a seamless transition for my Number One. No surprise there. He’s a social butterfly, so access to more kids his age has him completely in his element. So happy to see him thrive J

5. I visit mom’s grave every time I go home to visit Dad, which isn’t hard since she rests only a half-mile from his house. It’s a beautiful location—very peaceful. But it still doesn’t feel right, and I know it never will. Perhaps the arrival of the headstone and the grass growing over her plot will help, but I'm not exactly hopeful.

4. Nolan may finally be learning a few more words—or at least learning to attempt a few more words. Anything other than the constant screaming is music to this mama’s ears. Love him to death, but seriously, sometimes Mommy just needs a break.

3. The thing I’m struggling with most with Mom’s passing is not being able to hear her voice. I understand that I can “still talk to her” and “she can still here me” and all that, but it doesn’t make me crave the sound of her voice in response any less. There are countless moments every day that I want to tell her something, and then the realization that she won’t respond hits me—HARD. At the same time, if I call Dad, and get her voice on the answering machine, I lose it. I hope this fades with time ‘cause right now, it SUCKS.

2. LOVE having my older sister & family back in the state, and I'm definitely looking forward to my NY sister’s family visiting again next month. Aiden & Finnian are becoming pretty good buddies J

1. Is it July yet? Please? PLEASE?!?!?